60 EMS related puns

Daniel Dominguez and Michael Liu

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60 EMS puns


Notice: All of these puns are made for satirical purposes. None of these are true, and they are only made for the pun.


Bad Puns

  1. “What did you want to learn to do in EMS?” “I wanted to learn dentistry.” Weird, but that’s the tooth.
  2. Q: What do science teachers do on vacation? A: Don’t tell me how they spend their Weeks!
  3. Person 1: That article was weird… Person 2: Yeah, it’s Sqwack!
  4. How do English teachers make money? At church, they do allent.
  5. How do English teachers give money? They allend them.
  6. How many English puns do I have? Allen of them!
  7. Mr. Lansdale, Mr. Allen, and Mr. Baly made a group where they drive cars- they’re called the rACERS!
  8. What’s Mr. Allen’s favorite laptop brand? ACER.
  9. How do art teachers make money? They Woursell art!
  10. What kind of questions did the music teacher ask? Mrs. Whyte.
  11. How often did you have History? “Landdaley.
  12. What is Ms. Bower’s favorite Disney character? Nimick(ey)!
  13. What do you call a cool science teacher? Mrs Swagajeski!
  14. How do you learn science? You need the Zagajeskey to success.
  15. What did the music teacher say when she was breaking up? I just need some Spaeth!
  16. The secretary is the first person you Capizsee in the school!
  17. The math teacher is a strong Ziaman.
  18. The math teacher can read minds, he’s a psyman (Ziaman).
  19. You want to hear Morra those puns?
  20. Why couldn’t the sub see through the window? Because it was Ms. T!
  21. What do library teachers do in a boat? They Santorow.
  22. Where do computer teachers work? In a Miller.
  23. How do English teachers eat? With their Lipmans.
  24. What did the math teacher wear on her head? An Ehatamm.
  25. What did the math teacher say when she was confused? Ehatumm.
  26. How do you get a homeroom teacher upset? You Riley them up.
  27. What homeroom teachers lay eggs? The Cohens.
  28. How do Spanish teachers keep work organized? They Bonasort’em.
  29. Did you hear that the math teacher spilled a water bottle all over his desk? He made a Messler.
  30. What do math teachers do when they find a new topic? They Messlearn them.
  31. What do you call a retired homeroom teacher who knows a lot? Ms. Bliesnerd.
  32. What does a violin teacher say when she’s watching soccer GOOOAAAAAAAAAlD.
  33. What is Mrs. Weeks like? She’s always Gaily.
  34. Good morning class, how are you doing? Today we will be learning triggernometry. The student shakes uncontrollably, gets an A.
  35. A History teacher starts a class, and speaks about history. A student says: “Man this is boring.”
  36. Why does Mr. Niemczyk grade harshly? Because he always Niemchecks the work.
  37. How do Mrs. Michaud’s students get good grades? By MiSHOWING her work.
  38. What is Mr. Escala’s preferred mode of transportation? The ESCALATOR.
  39. Why do people go to Mrs. Santoro for help? She makes it CLAIRE.
  40. If Mrs. Capizzi was in Saw, she would say: “Do you want to play a Jaime?”
  41. Why is Mrs. White the nicest teacher? Because she Careys about her students.
  42. How does Mrs. Ehattamm cook with? An EhatPAN.
  43. What does Mrs. Michaud say when something goes wrong? “Jeez Louise!”
  44. What does Mrs. Ehatamm say when she understands something? “SarAH”
  45. How did Mrs. Khutorsky rip the paper? “She KhuTORNsky it.”
  46. What does Mrs. Zagajeski like to do to cheer up her students? She likes to ZagaJESTki.
  47. How does Mr. Baly escape? He BAILSy.
  48. Mr. Allen loves one part of grammar. “PUNctuation”
  49. Why do people dislike Mr. Baly? They think he’s aPAULing.
  50. When Mr. Allen traveled to Russia, he took a GeARDuous route.
  51. Where does Mrs. Zageski grade homework? In the CRAGajeski.
  52. When Mr. Allen traveled to Russia, he took a GerARDuous route.
  53. How do art teachers say they want to battle? I’m going to WARsell.
  54. What is Mrs. T’s favorite sport. Golf, she loves to hit the ball off the Tee.
  55. Does Mr. Allen have a Seltzer addiction? Yes, he CAN’t stop.
  56. Mrs. Santoro hasn’t looked this sad in a while. She’s reached a new Santolow.
  57. What part of Mr. Niemczyk’s body does he value the most. His NiemCHEST.
  58. How does Mr. Niemczyk pay money? With NiemCHECKS.
  59. Watch your Mrs. Manners.
  60. Mr. Niemczyk is really annoying to listen to he keeps droning on and on, BABBELing on and on. (he worked at this company}
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